Ranting .. Adult Children Who Don’t Think They Should Help

WHY is it our adult children have no problem moving back home, not paying any rent or utilities, nor even washing their own laundry BUT you say do the dishes and it’s “WHY!” “I don’t see why I should I hardly eat anything here.”

I seriously don’t get it, someone please explain to me when respect flew out the door. I thought I had done a fairly decent job raising my gurls. I thought we had raised them to have respect for us as their parents (and themselves, but then that’s a whole other topic). As adults the thought of taking advantage of anyone, let alone us, we’re only the people who raised them, should be downright distasteful. Of course I’m not referring too ALL five of my gurls as having these issues but rather than point fingers I’m just going to refer to my children in general.

And even if they don’t live with us is it really so hard helping your parents out? Would you ever tell your mom or dad no I can’t help you because you wouldn’t babysit for me yesterday?

I love my gurls, I would do anything in my means to help them and have time after time. None of my gurls are physically handicapped nor do they suffer any developmental disability. They are quite capable of supporting and taking care of themselves. It’s only when life throws a curve ball that they even consider moving back home.

Maybe I have slipped into enabler mode parenting: An enabler is a person who recognizes that a negative circumstance is occurring on a regular basis and yet continues to enable the person with the problem to persist with his detrimental behaviors. Simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which our adult children can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior. (Source)


  1. While I don’t have adult children, I do have almost adult children that occasionally have the same problems. I will support them through college but after that have timelines they must follow. Sounds like you should set a limit on how long they can stay rent/responsibility free. When you feel guilty for doing this, remind yourself that they are willing to dismiss what you are asking for repeatedly.

    • Hiya Angel, yaa we did that and two months has now turned into going on four. The thing is they split up and she just got her divorce Friday. She only works part time and by the time she makes her car payment and insurance she’s barely got enough gas money for the month. Put me in a tight spot ..