Our Newest Addition .. Kathryn Paige

katyI’m super happy to announce the newest member of our family Kathryn Paige born April 6, 2014 at 3:40PM weighing in 2 6 lb. 15 oz. and 21 inches long. This is our army gurl’s first child,  our sixth grandchild and only the second girl. Sadly with my anxiety issues I wasn’t able to go be with Jenn which really makes me depressed…  hopefully it won’t be years before we get to see Miss Katy in person. I won’t hold my breath though because in the eight years Jenn/Sean have been married they only came home once (well Jenn was home recently so we’ve seen her twice). But officially we’ve only met Sean that one time… and seriously he was young and didn’t leave the greatest of impressions. Over the years he grew on me especially since we’re both geeks haha. I honestly love that boy more than he knows! Of course our legs aren’t broken … I’m just being whiny. But maybe one day I’ll wake-up and tell the ol’man let’s take a road trip! Hey you never know…

Jenn finished her degree but turns out the college is holding it hostage because they claim she still owes like a thousand dollars on her tuition. Sean finally jumped on board and is taking a lot of classes himself now. I feel bad because he’s so stressed out lately with his job contract running out just as the baby was due. He’s not in the army anymore but he is still working for them — private contracts. His contract ended the first and he’s still waiting on the new one to come thru even after being told he would go back to work within two weeks.

Let’s see what else is new .. not much really. Jax bought herself some land and a mobile home which she’s remodeling for her and boys. I’m happy for my gurl of course but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I’m a little sad too because she had already told us she was going to setup a home out here close to us. Oh she’s also going back to school for her RN and Bachelor’s degree. She’s started a couple times before and something has interfered .. crossing my fingers for her that this time it all works out.

All is well with everyone else really .. nothing to gripe about (yet) anyway haha.

It’s Better Than a Dog!

I’ve got some news ….

I’m gonna be a GRANDMA again! My army girl who had just gone back home after patching things up with her husband just found out she was somewhere about ten weeks PG. This may be really bad timing but you know what “to damn bad”. To my son-in-law I say “Sh^t Happens” deal with it and move on because you know we’ve all (even you) have been waiting for this some odd eight years now. I’m ecstatic about it myself! I’ve been worried for years that my Jenn may not ever have two-legged children and the thought has always broke my heart. I do hate that she’s so far away and will most likely not have any of us around when the time comes but I sure hope I’m wrong.

AND our land is PAID off!! Hubs brings in this letter and says is that what I think it is? I’m like how do I know, so I open it and it’s a check for this years tax payments to date with a letter saying “Congratulations, on your payoff!” Being late in the day I had to wait for the next day to call and verify this wasn’t a mistake. Sure enough it’s real! I guess making our payment a little more each month finally paid off because I thought there was at least another year on our contract.

WooOOooT, doing the Happy Dance!!

Bye Bye Baby

I’m missing my kiddo already although at twenty-seven years old it’s pretty hard to admit she’s not so much of a kiddo anymore. Well then again the way she cuts up, watches cartoons, and then sleeps half the day away maybe we could debate that haha. I really didn’t want her to leave but I can’t say the same for those dogs. She left last Sunday and drove back to NC herself meeting Sean in GA for the remainder of the trip. He’s been begging her to go home for a few weeks so as usual she caved to his demands and went home. Of course she loves the man enough it didn’t take much and in the end she justified it because she said the dog Lilbit needed to see the vet and have his ears checked after scratching a nasty gouge into one of them. She’s got to find a job all over again now. She’s applying for MarketForce. That’s the company that used to pay me to do head counts at the theater. It’s funny I haven’t done those in years since my anxiety issues cropped up anyway and then while Jenn was home they called just out of the blue needing someone to do a local theater job.  We ended up with an agreement that Jenn could complete the job in my name so now she’s trying to get a spot in her area for similar jobs. I wish I could remember the name of the company that sends people out to places like Walmart to count DVD and/or CD stock as well as setup new release displays for companies like Warner Bro. & Disney. If anyone knows please do let me know.

Do you PIN?

pinterestMy newest addiction is Pinterest, a virtual Pin Board. It’s been several months since I came across this wonderful way to organize just about any and everything virtually. Do you enjoy collecting recipes? Setup your own virtual recipe box – even better join others recipe boards and reap the benefits of hundreds of people pinning awesome recipes along with you. If your not into recipes don’t worry because the topics are senselessly endless on Pinterest.  From fashion, family, diy, crafts, household tips, art, photography, travel — seriously the topics are really endless.

Your Invited: To come have a look at my boards where you can “Like” “Comment” and/or maybe even join a board as a contributor.

 

My Birthday Dinner with the Kiddos

My mind is always running ninety miles per hour and my body is having a really hard time keeping up! I know I haven’t posted much lately or like in months if I tell the truth. That’s mainly because I can’t seem to focus and once again I’m in the grips of WoW which easily consumes my time awake and many times my sleep as well. So what’s new on the home front;

Well I finally broke through those five stubborn pounds I’ve been bouncing up and down with since like forever, seriously several months at least. I lost like 30 pounds in a short time and have been hovering ever since and finally the last few times I’ve weighted the scale has stopped on the low number each time. I still have a long ways to go and I really need to get back to crunching the numbers (counting calories) but still mainly I just watch my daily intake. The only exercising I’m doing is using a small dumbbell (40 sets per arm) usually while my computer is waking up. I can only hope my plateau has finally lapsed and that I’ll see the scale go down again soon. Yes, I did measure many months ago but I haven’t a clue where I wrote it down so it didn’t help … however I have lost 34 pounds and NINE BMI points since Nov 2012.

My anxiety issues have not gotten any better, if anything it’s a little worse. Last year I left my house four times total, this year I’ve left my house maybe four times total so far. An improvement yes, but seriously not enough in my opinion. I had a melt down just a few days ago that sent me outside and scrambling down my new porch steps which took me much time and effort just to navigate <– because of anxieties –> the new porch is awesome. I was home alone (well almost) and while sitting and reading at the computer Jenns dog “Lil Bit” started raising holy hell. I got up and went and talked to him, looked around, and saw nothing. So I turned around to came back to sit down and just a step or two away and in front of the book case I heard my Moms bell ring. I looked up and of course the bell is on the shelf where it’s supposed to be. I walk on over to my chair and sit down saying “knock the shit off – go away” or something to that effect. Hubs and Jenn had just left to go pickup Subway and replace a couple of electric breakers which seem to be popping like every fives minutes lately. So I’m sitting again and there goes the bell again, one ring, distinctively metal like the sound my Mom’s bell makes when the kiddo’s play with it. I’m already on edge because for one thing I always am but for another we all know ever since the dog attack a few years ago I’ve been terrified of most dogs –> Lil Bit is HUGE. He scares me. I walk into the room and his booming bark sends me stepping backwards. And he hasn’t stopped barking since starting only a few minutes ago. This isn’t like his normal whiny let me out of this kennel bark but more authoritative like > listen to me. He gave me the impression something wasn’t right which set my anxiety levels higher than they have ever been before. He wasn’t growling and I wasn’t close enough to see his stance. I’d guess maybe 2-3 minutes later the bell rang again, I got uncontrollably upset almost immediately. I called Jenns cell to tell them to turn around, no answer. I called Steph no answer. I call Tom, Steph answers, I try to stay calm but rationalism is slipping and before I can explain what was happening I probably became pretty incoherent. I know I scared both of them and she left Jon’s kids with Tom and came rushing out here staying on the phone with me nearly the whole time. In the short time it took her to drive out here maybe 10 miles she could hear Lil Bit going off in the house. At one point I tried to pull myself together and come back inside > I put one foot inside the door and the dam bell rang again > was someone trying to tell me something like before?

I remember hearing a vehicle and saying “Is that you coming down the road?” she said “Yes.” then I realized he had stopped barking. I said do you hear that, he stopped barking. She pulled in the drive we went inside and a few minutes later hubs and Jenn came back without running all the errands because she was worried about her dog. “If the house caught fire would mama let my dog out of the kennel?” she asked her dad. OF COURSE I would LOL. I guess hubs was thinking this was something like the last time we had ringing going on and then the roof collapsed almost as if we we’re being warned.

I don’t know for sure why I lost it like that, it’s not like we haven’t had odd occurrences before >>  I can only guess it was just too much at that particular moment for my rationality to handle like the one more straw that broke the camels back.

So my Army gurl is home finally after more than five years since the last time we saw her. She and Sean are going through a bump in the road and needed the break. Sometimes a few days apart is all it takes to realize what you have and so far that’s what seems to be playing out from my point of view anyway. In a matter of say forty-eight hours it went from “I want a divorce” “I want a one year separation” (legally NC requires this to be granted a divorce) “I want you to go home and stay at least two months and find yourself again” to now “I need you to come home > now”. Why the change of heart? Well that’s not completely certain from what I can tell; a mixture of financial issues (one salary doesn’t cut it anymore) in addition to complaints about housekeeping, animals, ect…. Seriously? I can not keep making excuses for either of them. They are both grown-ups now. He’s bull headed and has bullied her into bending his way every time from what I see. And she has been alone so much in eight years she grown dependent on this damn dog. He’s done three tours over-seas and from what she says and I haven’t seen (then again how could I, he’s come to see us ONCE) it myself but she says he’s got PTSD. She wants him to seek help with it and he agreed but to my knowledge hasn’t whether that’s because of the current situation, money, or something else I don’t know. She seems to be more like her mother than ever thought possible; she gained more weight at such a young age it terrifies me. She denies it fanatically but I see the signs of depression and possibly early anxiety issues. I hate to say this but if they split for good (and I really hope they don’t) they just might be better off eventually. She’s still young enough at twenty-seven to get her life back on track either way, if she would just step up and do it.

My birthday is coming pretty quick and I haven’t been counting but the calendar is telling me I’m about to officially be “Over the Hill” at age forty-six gah no wonder I’m falling apart!!! Haha. So with all my gurls home I wanted to have some family time dang it. I let the gurls make the date and menu but made it clear I wanted everyone here for dinner and photos and soon. Turned out they jumped right on it and even decided to make it simple with no cooking required. They picked up momma’s fav food (pizza) as well cake & ice cream and we all spent a good part of Saturday afternoon visiting, chasing babies, and cleaning out Jax & Tims closets. Those closets have held onto a lot of memories over the years even though my other gurls have moved the contents back/forth between closets and lost items in the process. Jax was pleasantly surprised at some of the items she did find, photos mainly that she thought we’re long gone. This is the one last chore she’d been putting off since Tim passed away five years ago this month. By the time the evening came to a close my house was a huge mess but I was happy and managed to not get stressed out…. now if I can only get everything cleaned up and sorted out before the Orkin man arrives Wed.

On a side note I’m one of those people who worry about lending to much power to the unseen. I know not everyone understands just what that means and that’s ok because if you don’t understand it then you are lucky enough you probably don’t need to know. So with the closets finally cleaned out my mind goes to wondering and thinking maybe it’s time to finally throw-away what little remains of the roses that Tim bought Jax in those last weeks. Those roses have been disturbed so much over the last five years (even after I cried and begged for people to leave them alone) that they are barely more than dead dried stems in a vase anymore. On the one hand I think why bother I mean items hold memories yes but the biggest item is this house itself, he did die here, and it’s not like I can change that. Then on the other hand I have to wonder if objects actually only hold onto to what power we give them through love, fear, heartbreak, ect.. >> furniture, photos, clothing, nicknacks, trinkets, dead roses, not to mention some of my mothers ashes still sit this moment in a air-tight container in one of my desk cabinets. And just maybe I think to much …..

My Thoughts About Special K Nourish™ Nutrition Bars

Nourish Bars, what a nice way to have a quick no-work breakfast! I loved the taste, texture, and even the size of these bars. The flavors we’re for the most part good but not overwhelming. However the lemon bar was a little lacking. I felt the flavor was too mild or bland on that bar. Maybe a little more lemon tang maybe even a slightly sweet glaze covering (like the bar covered in chocolate). Over-all I would definitely buy these bars for my family and myself.

Special K Nourish™

Of course I would – they we’re GOOD! Besides I much rather short and sweet meals especially when it’s my turn to cook haha. Don’t get me wrong I love to cook but I guess age may be catching up with me because it seems more so now that I prefer the quick and easy.

FYI I am a Bzz Agent which means I did get the Special K Nourish™ Nutrition Bars free.