I Guess I’m Never To Old To Learn Another of Life’s Lessons

love parentsNow if only my grown children would as well  ….

Why would I be paying your bills, because you ASKED me to. YOU agreed if I covered your Netflix you would pay me back NOT pay me what you could.

I asked for $50 a month for this new TV. YOU begged for it so I GAVEIN and let you take it. Then you decided this $50 a month also covered YOUR Netflix which has since gone up to $13 a month. I say NO, you ARGUE, I GAVEIN, again.

Why because you knew I would, if you kept it up. Whose fault is that? YOU for being manipulative and childish or MINE because I’ve always thought I did a good job teaching you to respect me enough to keep your promises OR MINE again for loving you so much I don’t want to argue and thereby allow myself to be manipulated.

I didn’t have to do that, you had 2 sisters who wanted the TV as well and I won’t even go into the fact that letting you take it over there would eventually, possibly, void the 3 year extended warranty we paid extra to have put on it.

I love you, I’ll always love you, but I guess what it comes down to is I let you slide, and slide, and slide which teaches you nothing but that you can keep pushing and get away with it.

I can’t keep doing this, we are at our financial breaking point. We are barely covering our debts now and depending on the month, not. It’s down to this, only having groceries almost solely because of the kindness of others.

I can honestly say I now understand how my own grandparents stood by all these years refusing to help my mom or any of us kids financially even when we needed it in the worst ways. I always hated that about them but now I get it that in their own way they we’re teaching us responsibility with hard love.

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So now I have a disgustingly dirty 2 month old Smart TV sitting in it’s box shoved in my doorway and as usual I’m left feeling like I’m the bad guy.

Why is it that all my latest post are about …

The same ol’shit, just another day. I recently saw some comments posted to facebook, by my own kid, Stephanie. It’s not that the comments we’re bad, it’s more that it appeared she was bragging about what in my opinion she aught not to be. So when she comes home I say something to the effect of “a blessing isn’t paying some bill for something you technically already owe”. There’s no argument, no fight, just a stormy big child who doesn’t like what she’s hearing turning tail and storming off. Stomping right off to her daddy who is as usual doing Stephanie’s laundry (only to bitch to me about it later). Still there’s no arguments, no reason to argue it’s not like anything I have to say makes any difference.

Then today Jonni pops up hauling in her dirty laundry as well, well ‘why not’ I mean we do have a washer and dryer and she doesn’t. Even after they just spent twenty-seven thousand dollars in less than three months. I’m not sure how the subject came up but I barely caught some comment to her daddy saying something like my comments we’re uncalled for. So I butt in and ask what she’s talking about, she tells me she doesn’t want to talk about it. A little late now! After some heated discussion she eventually tells me that I should pick and choose when to reply. Now I don’t know about you, but to me that’s as much as telling me to “keep my mouth shut”. But NOT according to her.

I’m all for doing good deeds or “blessings” but I would hope that at some point in eighteen plus years I taught my kids the difference.

Why is it that all my latest post are about ...#1 Going out of your way to do a good deed for someone in need by sharing what you have or can do to help them out is a GREAT thing. You see someone can’t quite pay for their groceries so you gift them a few dollars, yes that is indeed “blessing” someone who needed help.

#2 When you ask to live with others (even your parents) have the decency to be respectable and hold up your end of any bargains. I should not have to remind you that running a house isn’t free. When I only ask you to put $100 into our household monthly you need to understand IM doing YOU a favor not the other way around. Yet you blatantly refuse to hold up your end of the bargain, again. As in initialing promising “it’ll just be for three months” but the reality is that it’s going on eight months now. And here you are bragging on FB how you paid I mean “blessed” mommy/daddy’s by paying their water bill (a whole $20) while that’s a nice thing (and I truly appreciate it) it’s not a “blessing”. IF you truly want to “bless” your parents try helping with things we actually need help with instead of running around bad mouthing us for asking you to pick up a loaf of bread (or washing a dish or anything else) and telling your family/friends we’re a pain in your ass.

You know it’s funny as parents we spend eighteen years raising our children the best we can only to find they haven’t really learned a damn thing or more like they pick and choose what they want to remember in the process. But make one mistake (that your not even really aware of until it’s thrown in your face years later) and watch out because those mistakes are never forgotten or forgiven. Of course that another story for another day, or not.

Broken Hearted

Nothing hurts me more than finding out that my gurls hide things from me. I always say you can talk to me about anything and I always tell them everything. If anything it makes me feel like my own kids don’t trust me.

……

Now with that said and a night or two to sleep on my feelings I want to add this; I am so proud of my daughter! She’s strong, independent, and the best mother and father to her children. When disaster strikes she pulls herself together even when it’s feels like your world is imploding. There is no shame in seeking help. She’s IS the strongest woman I know. I love you my brave girl!!

What Games Do You Play?

I ♥ PC Games

world of warcraft warlords of draenor

World of Warcraft – Do I dare say it out loud … I’m actually ‘maybe’ bored with World of Warcraft. Not done mind you, just in burn-out mode. There are still tons of things I want to complete but right now I’m finding I just don’t feel the NEED to even login. I know I may regret it later (WoW OCD) but for now I think I’ll probably just play on the weekends — I do really hope that doesn’t kill my guild.

Normally when I find myself bored with WoW I tend to play Diablo 3 or Starcraft but lately I’ve been going back to some of my older games.

sims 3

Sims – I’ve reinstalled Sims3. Three days later, I uninstall and reinstall again because the launcher won’t load. Now a week later I’m only up to installing the 4th expansion and it took more than 30 minutes for the game to even load. Now I remember why I stopped playing Sims3!

I know Sims4 is out now but I only recently got the last 4 Sims3 expansions and I haven’t even played them yet. So I can wait …

star trek online

Star Trek Online – Does anyone really play this game anymore? Apparently it’s much improved and free to download & play now. I got it when it was still new but didn’t play it much because I didn’t find it fun at the time – probably because I didn’t know anyone else playing it. My friend Zack has been playing it recently and just raves about how much fun it is now. So here I am updating mine again.

American McGees Alicezoo tycoonstar wars the old republic

I’ve got several other games installed but I don’t think I’ve played anything much but Blizzards games & Sims the last few years … unless you count Freecell & Mahjong which I tend to play while waiting for things to load.

If you play PC games let me know which ones by commenting below.

 

PS. Last week I upgraded my PC to Win 8.1 from Win 7 so I’m learning about Apps. I noticed there’s A LOT of App games, what’s your favorite? Which one’s do you recommend?

Ranting .. Adult Children Who Don’t Think They Should Help

WHY is it our adult children have no problem moving back home, not paying any rent or utilities, nor even washing their own laundry BUT you say do the dishes and it’s “WHY!” “I don’t see why I should I hardly eat anything here.”

I seriously don’t get it, someone please explain to me when respect flew out the door. I thought I had done a fairly decent job raising my gurls. I thought we had raised them to have respect for us as their parents (and themselves, but then that’s a whole other topic). As adults the thought of taking advantage of anyone, let alone us, we’re only the people who raised them, should be downright distasteful. Of course I’m not referring too ALL five of my gurls as having these issues but rather than point fingers I’m just going to refer to my children in general.

And even if they don’t live with us is it really so hard helping your parents out? Would you ever tell your mom or dad no I can’t help you because you wouldn’t babysit for me yesterday?

I love my gurls, I would do anything in my means to help them and have time after time. None of my gurls are physically handicapped nor do they suffer any developmental disability. They are quite capable of supporting and taking care of themselves. It’s only when life throws a curve ball that they even consider moving back home.

Maybe I have slipped into enabler mode parenting: An enabler is a person who recognizes that a negative circumstance is occurring on a regular basis and yet continues to enable the person with the problem to persist with his detrimental behaviors. Simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which our adult children can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior. (Source)

Who else loves Spongebob?

I know I’ve been neglecting my blogging for quite some time, honestly I’ve had nothing I wanted to talk about. All I do these days is play Warcraft, watch TV, and sleep… my health issues haven’t improved and no I haven’t seen a doctor nor do I plan too. I’m back to not leaving the house and having nightmares. I feel like I’m losing my mind and helpless to stop it .. like a car wreck in progress and unable to get clear of it. I actually gained back the weight I lost last year so once again at my highest weight ever which is wreaking havoc on my back and knees. I turned forty-seven this month and honestly I don’t think I’ll make it to see fifty at this rate.

colbys birthday cakeYou would think with summer on us that Jax would have taken advantage of dropping the boys off on us more than once a month. But nope, the boys we’re here the first week school let out back in June and the last week before school started, which was Monday. Colby had a birthday last month, he turned two. Sam got the most wonderful cake for the occasion, it was a two tier Bikini Bottom scene complete with the Spongebob and friends and the Crab Shack. We’re grateful she brought the party to us because it’s gotten to the point I just don’t go anywhere anymore.

Jenn is planning a trip home next month so we can meet the newest grand-baby Katybug. We’re all looking forward to that visit but I’m really upset that Sean isn’t coming with her. He seems to have some unspoken issues with us and for the life of me I can’t explain it. We used to be friends I thought but since he and Jenn split for that short time last year he’s never been the same. Jenn seems to think he’s let his own families issues spill over into his feelings for ours. Like maybe he thinks we think less of him and that’s the farthest from the truth, I love that boy I just wish he could see it.

Ali started first grade this week, hard to believe she’s six years old. Jon’s boys are both growing like weeds too and both looking quite silly because there momma or daddy keeps cutting there hair the silliest way — Mohawks. Seriously it’s funny even cute the first time — jokes over ya know. I have to say that I’m particularly proud of Jon & Ben, they’ve been doing well together for awhile now so I hope that means the bumps along the way are over. Of course it would be nice to see a wedding in the near future — of course three years in and he’s still not divorced his long gone first wife so I’m not holding my breath.  I could say the same for Steph & Tom they’ve really had it together the last year. Now if only my gurls would go out and make there own way instead of trying to divvy-up my property before I’m even dead. Hmmm ok that might’ve sounded way more harsh then what I meant for it too ….